What You Don't Hear
by Jersey Wolf
Summary: AU, One I've used before where Tom isn't killed  Exact reason is up to you, but post movie , and he's in a mental hospital. He's in a routine session with one of the psychiatrists, but they're not nearly as helpful as they'd like to think.


**Author's Note:** Just a little something I pulled out of my brain. Still alive, but college has started up again. Whatever, enjoy yourself some angry AU Tom at a mental hospital. He's angry. Don't ask me why.

Sometimes I really wonder if they're trying to help me like they say they are. It's really hard to tell what they want from me with the games they play when I'm around. They think I don't notice. They think I can't tell. Well, I can play games too. I'm the best actually. Been playing games for years. They don't know that though. They think they're free to mess with my head, to poke and prod at my feelings. Silly. How silly can you be? Those assholes. They want to play? I'll give them the game of their lives.

"Thomas, are you paying attention?"

He really likes to keep his pen close to his mouth. I don't like it. _You're always pretending to think, sir. _I want to shove it down his throat. Watch him gag on it. Can't talk your way out of things when you're choking. When you're bleeding.

"No, sir, I'm not."

That's right. _Just because you sit in that chair of yours doesn't mean you're better. Just means you have a nicer chair._ I don't need a nicer chair. I'll command my audience from a wooden log if I have to.

"It's awfully hard to talk with you if you don't pay attention, Mr. McKnight. It's also rather rude."

Silence for a moment. _Rude, sir?_ I have yet begun to be rude.

"They're nice."

"Pardon?"

"Your wall, sir. The things on your wall are nice. Such pretty decorations."

"Those are my degrees and certifications, Thomas."

_Don't call me that._ No one calls me that. Not even my mother calls me Thomas. She doesn't even call me. Dead. She's dead as far as I'm concerned. Alive probably, but I'd like to think dead. He's trying to gain my trust. I never trusted you. Never will. _Don't call me Thomas. You haven't earned that right._

"I'm sure they are."

He thinks he smarter than me, and maybe he is. PhD and all that nonsense. He's smarter than me in that respect. That doesn't make a difference though. Smart people should know better than to shit on other people. They're smart. Why can't they understand? Don't shit on other people. Some of us defend ourselves. Some of us bite. Some of us are very good at using our teeth.

"Someone's very combative today. Would you like to tell me why?"

_I'm confusing you._ I'm glad. I shouldn't be the only one. I shouldn't be alone in this.

"Combative, sir?"

"Don't you take me for a fool. I've dealt with you people before. I know a thing or two, you know."

You people? _You_ people? Does that arrogant prick really think I'm one of _those_ people? I bet he doesn't see _us_ as people. Just things to pick at and pull apart. He wants to get into my head and make an interesting case study of me. He doesn't want to help me. _Asshole. _I can't blame him, but I'm not thrilled about it either.

"I know very little. Isn't that something you should know, sir? That should be in my file. I don't know anything. I'm just crazy aren't I? I think I'm just crazy. Why don't we just prescribe me something ridiculous and finish up this pointless thing, yeah?"

"You've gotten chattier."

"Yeah, well, you've given me something to be chatty about."

I'd better reel it in a bit. He thinks he's making progress. He's so stupid. Smart people think they're so intelligent when all they have is their heads up their asses._ I'm surprised you're not inside out. _They know it and they won't admit it. At least I admit that I had my head up my own ass for a while. I'm smarter now. Why aren't they paying me for this shit? I'm more competent than this idiot.

"Let's try something fun. A game."

"Fun is too relative, and you say this like we aren't already in the middle of a game, sir."

"Oh, have we been playing?"

"Playing? Who said anything about playing? Playing implies some kind of fun."

"I imagine you're not having any fun, Thomas."

_Stop using my name like that. Stop using that name. You know it bothers me don't you? You're trying to make me uncomfortable. I could just hurt you. I want to break your jaw. You'll never talk when I'm done with you. _There're too many people here. Too many cameras. They think patients don't notice. I do. I know a thing or two about cameras. Oh, but if I could become invisible, like a ghost. Not much left that could be identified. _I assure you._

"No, sir. This isn't fun, but it's entertaining."

"I'm here to help you. Why don't you let me help you?"

"With all the shit on your walls you should be able to tell me why."

He seems surprised. Put off. Good. He thinks he's smarter. Thinks he's better. _Don't play my game. I know the rules. I make them regardless of what you think. _

"There's no need to be so upset."

"Upset? What makes you say I'm upset, sir? I haven't yelled. It's because I swore isn't it? That doesn't mean I'm upset. Just means I'm using my words."

"You seem to really enjoy using your words, Thomas."

_Say my name again and I will beat your head in with that fucking desk lamp._ Maybe one of those book ends with the heavy bases. I know I could. I have. I know what it takes. Know what it takes to make someone crack. Crunch. And _what does that mean anyway?_ 'You seem to really enjoy using your words'. I know what I meant. What does he mean?

"You do too, sir. It's why you have the job you do isn't it? Yeah, I think that's why. You talk at people and hope you'll get something."

"I'm sensing some anger. Why don't you try expanding on that?"

"I'm not angry. I'm not anything anymore, sir."

That's right. Don't give him anything. A whole lifetime wasted trying to make people like him accept me. I'm done with that. It doesn't work for me. _I can accept that._ Why can't everyone else?

"I highly doubt that. You're talking more than the first time we spoke. Surely something must have changed from then. Surely you must feel something. You're only human."

"Nothing's changed. I just have my voice back. My voice is important to me. I'm going to use it, sir. Is that wrong? Besides, I'd say my humanness is still up for debate, yeah?"

I'm not a human. I'm an animal. _Can't you see my teeth?_ Humans know better than to do what I did. Human? No, I'm not human. Not all human anyway. There's something broken. Speak? No, I growl.

"Well, Thom-"

"Stop that."

Anger. Something's broken. Something's broken.

"Stop what?"

"Calling me that. Thomas…I…you…stop pretending to care."

"Have I struck some kind of nerve?"

_You bet your ass you have. Don't you know when to stop? Didn't they teach you that in school?_ Don't keep poking at things. Don't poke animals. They'll get angry before you domesticate them. _Stop poking me. You're provoking me. You're not here to help me. You're here to satisfy your own curiosity. Fuck you._

"No, sir."

"What makes you think I'm just pretending to care?"

"You have a lot of patients? I think it's impossible to care about everybody. It'll drive you crazy."

"You sure?"

"Damn sure. I've tried."

_Shit._

"You've tried to care about everybody. That's very interesting, Thomas."

_You never learn do you?_ Pen. Desk lamp. Book ends. All here. _Why won't you stop doing this to me?_ It makes no sense. Maybe I don't know much about sense, but I know this doesn't make any. It just hurts. I can deal with hurt though.

"I'm not interesting, sir."

"Many people would beg to differ."

This chair is too stiff. I want to move back into it. Get as far away from that judging stare. He doesn't care about me. I know that. He keeps proving me right.

"Killing people doesn't make me interesting. It only makes me a murderer."

"I'd say that's pretty interesting. Not everyone goes out and kills people."

_Is that so? I had no idea._ Idiot.

"I know everyone thinks about it though. Don't tell me you've never thought of just killing someone. One of your patients? Your wife? Maybe your daughter, sir? They ever just get so under your skin you can't take it?"

He's giving me the look. I've seen it plenty of times before. He's uncomfortable. _I'm staring right back at you, sir._ Glaring really. It's kind of the only thing I can do with only one eye.

"How'd you-?"

_Oh? Have I upset you?_

"I'm not magic. I just guessed, and that photo on your desk is pretty easy for me to look at when you're not looking."

"You really shouldn't snoop like that."

I have to laugh. I can't help it. I knew he was silly, but this stuff is absolute gold.

"Shouldn't I? But that's what I'm good at. It was my job you know. Professional watcher. I know things. I know a lot about people. I'm observant. Like that face you're making at me…you don't like me. Want to kill me right? Hurt me maybe?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm bothering you though. You're uncomfortable. You don't want the crazy guy to know about your family, but I do, and that bothers you."

_Admit it. One, little, word._

"No, just a bit surprised that you would make an effort to bother me. You're very good, but you shouldn't reveal your secrets. Doing so doesn't make you very effective."

_Shows how much you know._

"You'd be surprised, sir. Sometimes knowing someone can do something even if you know how it's done doesn't make it any less of a threat. Any less bizarre."

Like beating your skull in. _You know how I could do that don't you Mr. PhD?_ Knowing doesn't get rid of a threat. Knowing just tells you how it'll be done.

"Are you threatening me?"

_Yes._

"No, sir. I don't do that anymore."

"I think we should call it a day."

It's about damn time. _I was wondering when you'd get the hint. You're not very bright for a smart person._

"It's quitting time already, sir? But I've hardly said a thing."

"Oh, you've said more than enough."

_What's that supposed to mean?_

"I still don't think I've said much of anything."

"Well, either way, time is up. I have another appointment. Until next time, Thomas?"

I'm just an appointment. One of many. I'm not special. _You're trying too hard to make me feel special._ Something I'm not. That name. It doesn't make me feel special. _You know my name? You have it in front of you no doubt. You hardly try and yet you try too hard. _

"Yes, next time."

Finally, I can get up. Finally, I can leave. I don't need to be lead to my room fuck face. I can find it on my own. Do you honestly think after all this time I'm going to run away? No, I can't do that. I won't. I'm not stupid.

You wave to me in the hall a few days later. It makes me feel sick to my stomach. _You're pretending to be my friend._ Pretending we connected. Connected? _You make so many assumptions._ Forget the cameras. Should have used the desk lamp.


End file.
